WITH APOLOGIES TO MISS MANNERS

I take--and give--a ton of flak...

My readers admonish me for "too much anger"and "too much profanity", both "off-putting" and "alienating" to members of my audience...

I admonish them for being too fragile, and myself for being a curmudgeon...

Here's the thing:  Lisa was my "governor"--you know, the devices they put on engines to keep them from revving to "red line"...she was my voice of reason...she was my quaalude...   Without her presence, I am now rudderless...a large and old rustbucket vessel circling in the harbor, making waves and threatening collision with the party boats...

I think my personality is that of a hardened cop in a lot of ways...you learn to approach every situation with at least a tinge of suspicion...you "hope for the best" but are "prepared for the worst"--especially in people.  I know I am textbook "personality disorder" in a lot of ways...I am ill-tempered, quick to confront, have no impulse control....

At my age, I can now say "tough shit"...  It's kind of liberating...

However, there is a caveat...I don't give a rat's ass if people "like" me, but I really do want to say my piece and have it received by--if not friendly then accepting--ears...  I want someone to take me head on with factual information which may blow my thesis out of the water...not some prepackaged pablum prepared by The American Heritage Foundation or Wayne La Pierre's Flying Monkey Squad...not some mole-fed mush supposedly coming from Liberal, trusted sources but which is in fact nothing more than well-camouflaged Karl Rove propaganda...  Facts.  Certifiable, creditable facts.

Or at least a damned interesting hypothesis well-stated....something to chew on..

Sorry if that sounds condescending or self-aggrandizing... first of all, I am a classic narcissist...secondly, "tough shit"...

Love and kisses to all.